Raising Self Esteem

Feeling good about yourself and your life...

Good Self Esteem is the single most important factor in achieving anything in life. Why? Because if you don't have that belief in yourself, that feeling that you will achieve your goals, that you will do the things you want to do in life - you will stop yourself, you will effectively 'shoot yourself in the foot'.

Why would you do that? Why would you stop yourself from getting the things you really want? Because deep down you don't feel you deserve it.

Let's call Self Esteem what it really is. It's Self Love. In our society we have this negative feeling towards Self Love. You will hear people say in a derogatory way - "You love yourself, don't you?" as though it is something to be ashamed of.

The truth is, unless you love yourself, unless you have good self esteem, you won't let yourself have what you really want out of life.

There's a very good point here. We all have a "self image". If we have an image of ourselves as an achiever, someone who succeeds in what they set out to do, then we will achieve no matter what obstacles are thrown in front of us.

If we have a self image of ourselves as a failure, we will fail no matter what opportunities come our way.

We all have 'comfort zones'. That means, we will allow ourselves to have only as much as we think we are worth. And if good fortune comes our way, if we don't think we are worth that good fortune, we will do everything in our power to stop it from happening.

One of the greatest things we can do for our wellbeing is to raise our Self Esteem; to help ourselves believe that we are worth everything that we desire in life.

Good Self Esteem has a 'quiet OK-ness', a humility, an inner strength, an acceptance of self.

Those people who are boastful, who repeatedly tell you how good they are, actually have low self esteem. They are basically saying, "If I tell you enough good things about me, maybe you'll believe them because I sure don't"

Every one of us was born with wonderful Self Esteem. All you have to do is look at newborn babies and see what great Self Esteem they have.

Check out Bert Weir's book, "You were born special, beautiful and wonderful, What Happened?" for an insight into why we grew up feeling inadequate and put down and why we do what we do.

Remember this is Universal law - what you put out comes back. So if you're finding that you are a doormat - everyone is walking all over you - check out what you're 'putting out'. People will react to you according to the signals you are giving. Are people reading you as a person who doesn't feel very good about themselves? Your body language is probably giving you away.

Or maybe you are always getting into fights with people. Are you covered in claw marks and tooth marks because of your aggressive behaviour? Again, look at what you are putting out.

If you want to raise your Self Esteem, start acting like a person who feels good about themselves (When you act in a particular way, your feelings will follow). People with good Self Esteem walk tall - start to do the same.

Words are very powerful. Be aware of your self-talk - that constant chatter that goes on inside your head and is often very negative. If you are always putting yourself down and your thoughts are negative you are guaranteed to have low Self Esteem.

Associate with people who have good Self Esteem and you'll find their positive attitude will rub off.

- Helen Everingham

Additional Information

Helen suggests reading "We were born Special. Beautiful and Wonderful, What Happened?" - by Bert Weir.

The Centre Within course presented by Helen Everingham is a great start for you to learn how to feel good about yourself, recognise the problems you deal with and learn how you can solve them to enhance your way of life. You can read more about this two day practical workshop here.

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